I'm in the final packing stages for coming to the UK. First of all I'll be stopping in Johannesburg for a conference and then on Friday night I'll be attempting to sleep in an overnight plane up to London (not sure I'll be able to settle, it's altogether too exciting..!)
But actually I'm undergoing mixed feelings about coming back to the UK. Although I am SO looking forward to catching up with people and to show off the choir and all, I know that returning from somewhere like Africa can bring out strange reverse culture shock and all that, which I'm not looking forward to, and I'll be back long enough to feel it too.
I've also been undergoing a sort of 'dark night of the soul' recently, which is causing me inner turmoil and angst about a lot of things. It's like God has taken all my 'securities' and pulled the carpet out from underneath them and is watching to see what I'll do about it. It's a whole cross-cultural mishmash of issues that is giving me one long big headache and I can't see the way out of the woods clearly yet. I'm sure it's one of those 'challenging times' upon which I will look back and see God's hand clearly moving to take me on to another place, but that doesn't really help much when I feel like I'm in a big pit and things keep falling in on top of me.
I'm sure a change of scene is just what I need and no doubt the 10hour flight will reset my thinking somewhat or at least provide space and distance for me to gain some clarity. Please pray for some kind of resolution in my thinking.
In the meantime, my housegroup prayed for me tonight and all I wanted to do when they stood round me was to fall about laughing, had to really concentrate, but still I managed to stop myself by chewing my thumb... hurrah for cool people to hang out with! ;-)
